The Dream in the Circle by Doc Tsai
This is The Dream in the Circle written by my dear friend, Doc Tsai. It was originally posted on his now defunct website. I am reposting the essay here with his permission.
The Dream in the Circle
For Sarah
Do you want to be spanked?
Have you have never been spanked as an adult, not really, and yet crave it? Or have you been spanked, perhaps many times, and found it exciting yet not fully satisfying?
Do you hunger for a real spanking the way others thirst for air or water?
One path to your dream
There is hope. I offer, not a promise, but a real hope that you can experience your dream spanking. It will take time, patience, and effort, not to mention suffering. It is not possible for everyone, but I hope that it is possible for you. This essay describes one path.
This essay is not about mild or playful spankings. If you are satisfied with an erotic spanking frolic (and there is nothing wrong with that), this essay is not relevant to you. I assume that you want what I call a real spanking, the kind that a parent or teacher administered as a punishment a century ago. That kind of spanking is hard to achieve today. Real spankings hurt a great deal and for that reason they are hard, but not impossible, to arrange.
Will you actually enjoy a real spanking? It depends on the intensity of your desire.
The more you want a real spanking, the more you think you can’t live without one, the more likely you are to enjoy the process of working toward your dream spanking and to find ecstasy when you reach your goal.
One option is for you to find someone to give you a real spanking without further preliminaries. This approach can work, but it is hazardous and I do not recommend it. One risk is that the top will not be an honorable person and will hurt you for his or her own pleasure in ways that are harmful to you. Another risk is that the top, although well intentioned, will not give you the experience you want, for any of a dozen reasons. You are chasing your personal dream. Somebody that doesn’t know you well is unlikely to understand what you want.
Even you may not understand, not until you’ve done some preliminary explorations. So it is better to take things in steps.
You need the right partner
In all of this I assume that you have a consistent spanking partner; it’s not strictly speaking essential, but it makes the path a great deal easier.
Start with a first spanking that is mild. Even a mild first spanking will be wonderful and leave you with the feeling, “Yes! I’ve been spanked!” If you have this reaction, you are on the right track. You have stepped inside the magic circle.
You will want to be spanked harder.
As you and your top explore this fascinating realm, most likely you’ll experience a variety of spankings that involve, for example, different positions, different clothing, different implements, and different intensities and durations. Some of these spankings will be terrific, some merely very good; some may even be unpleasant or unsatisfying, and you may even have a disaster or two. It’s all part of the learning process.
There is more
You may discover your dream spanking as part of this process of experimentation. More likely you will not, for it requires a separate, final push to reach that particular summit. Even when the spankings you have experienced have filled you with pleasure (when they are not wracking you with pain), you know there is more.
You need to be spanked harder, very hard indeed. This isn’t easy, because you must find a way to endure the pain, and your top must have the courage to inflict that pain.
Consider this visual representation of the spankings you have already enjoyed. All of your life experiences are a montage of photos on an enormous sheet of plain paper. On that sheet is a circle drawn in black pen. Within that circle are the spankings you’ve received. Each is different from the others but each helped you understand better what spankings mean and gave you a clearer sense of where your dream spanking might be found.
Each of us has his or her own ideal spanking. For you it might be over the knee, bare bottomed, with a hairbrush; for someone else it might be getting paddled while tied over a couch. These are fantasies of position, implement, and technique. A certain dialogue or role playing may be part of the fantasy. There are infinite variations. But there is also a single factor in common for the spankings I am thinking of, and that is the level of pain.
As your experience grows you will realize that while your spankings are exciting and satisfying, there is a point in the middle of the circle, like the center of a bull’s-eye, that represents your dream spanking. You will want to achieve that ideal. In this essay I describe my vision of the ideal spanking; yours may differ.
Suffering and joy
This ideal spanking is intense. It’s painful enough to really hurt, to make you frantic with pain, to bring you to desperate begging. It is not easy to ask for this kind of spanking even when you want it, but you will find a way. If you want this kind of spanking badly enough you will work up to this intensity in stages and at each stage you will wish for something more. Your top, likewise, will see how your increasing suffering brings you increasing joy, and will be prepared to spank you harder and longer.
After each spanking, be sure to say, “Thank you, that was wonderful!” Your top needs that encouragement and deserves your gratitude. I am assuming in all of this that your dreams and your top’s dreams are similar, for you should not force a reluctant top to do your bidding. I hope that you two are compatible and communicating well.
At least once, and perhaps more than once, you will have to push. You will have to force through your top’s instincts of restraint and through your own fear and pain. It will not be easy. But it you can do it.
Fantasy transformed into reality
And when you arrive, when you’ve received your dream spanking, you will know it. You will have had the experience that you envisioned for so long, and it will be even more satisfying than you imagined possible.
Think back to the circle of spankings. You have now reached the previously unattainable point at the center; but that point has expanded and is now a circle within the circle. The inner circle contains your first real spanking.
Pause and think about that spanking. You will find that although it was your dream spanking, it may still not have been perfect in every respect. Among all the variables of position, implement, restraint, conversation, intensity, duration, and more, some will be near perfect, others only very good, and different variations, all leading to a wonderful spanking experience, will suggest themselves. Although your dream spanking could be repeated just as it was, more likely it will lead to a new cycle of exploration as you and your partner find new meadows in this enchanted forest. That inner circle that once held only your first real spanking expands and can hold an unlimited number of wonderful spankings.
Your fantasy can be transformed into abundant reality.
Good luck in your journey. My best wishes are with you.
– Doc Tsai
